A Kamikaze's Diary!

My insides are burning. The anesthesia is not helping. I can feel the tube go inside me. Sliding on my tongue through the throat into my oesophagus. It feels like a slimy creature with thorns making its way down to my stomach. I start to gag. It's a reflex of the tube touching my epiglotis on its way down. I want it to be quick. Lying there, feeling helpless and in pain reminds me of the first time I was in one of these chairs. A Flash. I am seven years old. A couple of my milk teeth were having difficulty in falling off. So I have to visit the dentist. He is a stout bearded man with a kind personality and a limping gait. I am relieved when I see that we are not at my Father's friend clinic who is our regular dentist but is not very gentle with teeth. The dentist now masked, tells me to watch the cartoon on TV as he starts to work inside my mouth. I remember feeling disrespected at being told to watch TV. Always being a bit too old for my age, I felt to be treated like a grow